Nothing could have prepared me for this day. 

The dreaded phone call that shakes you to the core. The unbelievable words that you hear on the other end of the line. Even though I had not seen you in many years, I still had a glimmer of hope that you would get clean and healthy. Nothing could have prepare me for the devastating cries of your beautiful daughter who never gave up hope that you would one day see your grandson for the first time. Your life as I knew it for just a short time plays in my mind over and over . I also think of how the drugs must have taken a toll on your once beautiful young face. 

I knew you were a troubled soul. you had already had so much pain in your life as a young girl. I knew you tragically lost your little brother and the subsequent destruction it caused your family afterwards, but I never dreamed that you would self destruct.

I am devastated, shocked, angry, helpless, searching for why. There was help out there. Your daughter loved you so much. So many people loved you and would have done anything to help you. Why were drugs the only way out? I know addiction is powerful. I just always thought you would meet the right person who would give you the hand up that you needed . I feel horribly guilty that I was not that person. We are heartbroken, angry and lost for words. How do I deal with a grieving grand daughter who is trying her best to get through life. Did you even know how hard she worked to become a medical assistant? Do you know how hard she worked in the labor room to deliver a sweet little boy that others told he to abort? She studied and persevered through so many hardships to better herself, to make you proud? Why couldn't things have turned out differently? You had everything going for you. You were a beautiful, smart, talented girl, what happened? You had everything going for you. Apparently, you did not think so, and the lure of drugs took you. The ultimate demon. 

I pray that you are finally at peace and are safe in heaven with all your loved one that have gone before you. We just wanted you here with us. RIP beautiful girl <3