Brothers

I am working on some pictures of the boys before Daniel was born, December 15, 1992.
I have been memory keeping since being "snowed in" for the last few weeks.
It is so easy to look at old pictures from the 90's and want to crop them.
Instead of doing that, I have found that keeping the pictures mostly intact very necessary for me. I have decided to keep most of the dated appliances/furniture etc in the picture because that was a reality for my life at that time. I don't want to sterilize the past, but story tell it as accurately as I can for future generations to see!  That is the power of memory keeping and why I love it. Not all moments in time were picture perfect and fun and games, but that is the reality of all of our lives. My pictures are not magazine worthy with perfect smiles and poses, but they are real. Brown tint, off frame, over/under exposed and all. And that's reality!

Feeling your messy feelings

After spending an hour pouring out my heart, my post did not "save", good grief.
I'm not sure whether to be angry (which I am), or just find the humor in it and I am trying very hard to do that. I must say that just typing out my feelings really helped talk me off the ledge.

I am still in the middle of an emotional explosion right now. Tears run freely as they have not, in a long time. My body seems to be detoxifying feelings which need to go away or be dealt with. Or as in my case right now, felt and dealt, my new made up term. At least, I don't think I've heard it before. If someone else coined the phrase, sorry, not sorry.

Today is my middle son Carl's 38th birthday.

(Written on January 24, 2019  published April 28, 2020)

Not sure why I quit writing and saved it as a draft, as I had done with many of my latest compositions.
Maybe I have been too filled with emotion, as revealed in reading my last few unpublished (until today, that is!) posts.

Anyway, I'm glad I did not delete! Such a great picture! Happy birthday Carl!

What a life you have lived so far. As of today, you are in Community College at Skagit Valley CC and are in computer science. You had a curve ball thrown at you with the Covid-19 virus that shut our country down and have been taking your classes on line, like all other students. We are all proud of you as you are working very hard to overcome the consequences of bad decisions made early on in your life. Keep up the good work!

***insert catchy title here***

My brain thinks in what "should be" instead of "what is". It's a very difficult place to be. Reality and fantasy collide but as an artist, fantasy is what fuels your craft, that is what makes us a little "off", which is why I tend to be attracted to "off" people. I'm not talking "off" in a bad way but "off " in a "march to the beat of a different drummer" off. A peaceful, creative, touchy feely kind of person, but still detached in a way to protect them from the ones who want them to march to THEIR beat. People who have a different agenda than yours. (Again, I am NOT talking about people who want you to do something harmful.)

Anyway, as I was taking pictures today, I thought a lot about this dilemma. How to be your creative self and still be able to function in the "real world". People don't understand your need for solitude. They don't understand your need for "space". It is often looked upon as sloth, and sometimes the creative soul IS slothful.

How do you reconcile the two?