Saturday, March 10, 2012

Life after Death

I haven't blogged in a while.

My husband of almost 35 years passed away unexpectedly January 30th.
Five days after my birthday.
Two and a half months after his 56th birthday.
One week before Superbowl Sunday.

I mention the Superbowl because he LOVED football and looked forward to the Superbowl every year. He had always wanted John Cougar Mellencamp to perform the half-time show. Needless to say, he was not thrilled when Madonna was chosen. He would have been even more disappointed had he seen the performance. :(

It will be 6 weeks on Monday. Each week has brought new challenges, trials, hardships, but in the midst of the pain and shock, I have been able to feel the love of God through my friends and family.

My brother and sister were here almost 24-7 for the first week and continue to check up on me daily.
My parents were with me, and even in in their grief stricken state, were a great comfort to me.
Daemyan was well cared for the first week at the home of his best friends, Caleb and Christoph. This was so helpful since I was such a mess and had so many decisions to make. Difficult and heart wrenching decisions. And I needed to prepare to see his grieving family. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. He was the oldest of six and was adored by his sisters, nieces, nephews, brothers-in-law and of course, his parents. He had been looking forward the parent-sibling vacation this summer and a trip to San Antonio......
Even in the horrible grief of his family coming out to Washington for his funeral, I was able to catch glimpses of love through friends. The family was able to spend time with Whitey's best friends which was a great help to me since I was not up to entertaining. Our long-time friends invited everyone to their home on Superbowl Sunday, where he would have been. What a wonderful gift that was! Great food and great friendship was shared and even laughter through our pain.
Many other blessings were so obvious, I still am dumbfounded!
My sister became my personal secretary, my voice and my brain.
My brother was my moral support and companion. He and Syl took Daemyan to the school bus stop the first couple of mornings.
One of the ladies in my choir arranged for the Ladies Guild to prepare all of the food for the reception at no charge to me.
My dear friend Miles arranged for all the flowers. And they were GORGEOUS! Which reminds me that I need to get the pictures!!!
My choir sang at the service.
My friends from high school came to visit me and brought a quiche the night of the funeral. Perfect since I needed nutrition, but did not want to cook. I had given Terry that recipe years ago!
Karen's husband, Steve, also a good friend made Whitey's urn.
Karen picked Whitey's personal belongings up from work for me, since she works at Boeing.
My friend Sue brought me a load of hay for the horses. She also had some great insight and suggestions since she had lost her husband five years ago.
My friend Becky hired a couple gals to come in and clean my bathrooms and floors the night Whitey's family would arrive. She also worked herself into a lather getting the house to look comfy and inviting and preparing snacks and making sure the coffee didn't run out. She also lent me a purse for the funeral, packed with tissues, chapstick and breath strips~! (She thinks of everything!)
Al came over and fixed my furnace which had gone out the day after Whitey died.
Lori cut Daemyan's hair.
Denise came over with a tater tot casserole. Ed came over with two rotisserie chickens, deli salads and bread.
Father Christopher, my priest, was awesome. He came to the hospital right away and was able to pray with me and over Whitey. He was a great comfort.

Monetary gifts from Whitey's co-workers were a huge help. Friends and relatives were also very generous! The flowers, the cards, the phone calls. Everyone showing such love. Things happened without me even having to ask, which would have been hard since I didn't even know what I wanted or needed. I know I have probably left some things out but everything that was done for me was so appreciated, there are no words to adequately describe my gratitude.

Thank you everyone!


  1. You are loved very much by so many! Life can be so hard but God is good! I love this picture.

  2. I am so sorry you lost your Husband. It must really be hard and I will keep you in prayer.
    DIANA L.

  3. I came across your card blog today which lead me to this blog where I read through some of your posts. I'm so sorry for your loss and pray that God is still continuing to heal your heart as you go through the grieving process of your dear husband. I have just started a card blog and live on the island also. Drop by visit and I hope to hear from you Blessings in Christ. Sherrie Clark